Comrade Liz on #LabourDoorstep Manoeuvres, with apologies to Ian Fleming #Corbyn Films for #Labour

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Comrade Seumas Milne says he always knew Liz Kendall was really a comrade. After all, any admirer of General Kalashnikov’s work can’t be all bad …

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Comrade Kendall takes aim with an AK74

Kendall responds to Milne by releasing further pictures of herself, armed with an M16, in US Marine Corps dress uniform.

Milne calls her a capitalist running dog …

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From the left, Toby Perkins MP (Missing In Action), and (hostiles) Liz Kendall MP and Graham Jones MP

Milne says everyone knows that a Beretta .25 is the gun for a lady (with little stopping power). Then realises he is starting to sound like Q in Doctor No …

Jeremy Corbyn asks, if you are Q, does that make me C?

John McDonnell observes that M was C in the Ian Fleming novels.

Jon Lansman is seen stroking a white cat …

Meanwhile, Andrew Fisher, dressed all in black, lurks in the shadows, perfecting his Rickmanesque sneer …

Behind the arras, a confused Len McCluskey suspects one or more people in the Labour leadership is in MI5 and working to bring down the party, but surely it cannot be anyone who was educated at a public school and went on to Oxbridge?

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Watch out, Seumas, Liz is gunning for you!

Out in the car park, Liz Kendall offers to show Seumas Milne the stopping power of Bond’s Walther PPK 7.65mm.

Kendall says it’s, allegedly, just like a (rioter’s) brick through the plate glass window of a Labour MP’s Constituency Office …

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Liz Kendall tries out a Challenger Mark II for size

Andy Burnham, never one to miss an opportunity, says he’ll make tackling gun crime a priority, if only Labour members will elect him Greater Manchester Mayor …

Yvette Cooper asks why no one is extolling the merits of a UK manufactured firearm …

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Liz Kendall gets to grips with an SA80

Len McCluskey, sensing an MI5 inspired attack on Jeremy Corbyn, accuses Cooper of disloyalty, whilst at the same time insisting that Trident renewal is a done deal.

McCluskey insists that in no way has he told Corbyn that there is no alternative to Labour’s current nuclear weapons policy …

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Liz Kendall anticipating bayonet practice on a life size cut out of …

Liz Kendall says she is looking forward to the reaction to her second day with the Armed Forces Parliamentary Scheme.

Sun Picture Editor collapses and has to be rushed into hospital …

Jeremy Corbyn brushes up his feminist credentials on International Women’s Day

Len McCluskey: intelligence services using ‘dark practices’ against Corbyn

Build The Wall

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The Gerasites

I have previously asserted two things. Firstly that the election of a particular individual as leader of the Labour Party was irrelevant as the party had been usurped before the ballots were counted and arguably, though unprovable, before last summer’s contest even started. My second assertion was that the May 2016 results mean that the party is now beyond rescue because they were sufficiently tepid to allow the Corbynistas to entrench their position. That view has since been reflected by a poll showing Corbyn would win a leadership contest even more emphatically despite, or maybe because, of those May results.

In this piece I argue that the time has come to accept that the world view of the Corbynista and the world view of the ordinary Labour member/supporter/voter is so fundamentally different that they are incompatible and they can no longer co-exist within the same party. In short, that the…

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What I Thought I’d Never Write: Why I Voted Conservative

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The Wonderful World of Unicycling Aardvarks: the Comeback

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This evening, I did something I never thought I would do, nor have ever wanted to: I voted Conservative.

If anyone is interested, I would like to explain why I did so, and why doing so was such a big thing.

I first voted in the 1979 general election; I have voted Labour in every general election since. Until today, I have only voted anything other than Labour twice: once, in European elections when Labour were committed to pulling out of the EEC, I voted Liberal; I once spoiled a ballot paper when there was no Labour candidate in a local election.

Pray some other background. True, my grandmother (on my mum’s side) was a working class Tory. And, my mother was a natural Liberal who, given the state of the Liberal party, through the ‘50s, ‘60s and ‘70s was a floating voter. But, I got my political education from…

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It’s not in the left’s interest to pretend this week was great

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Jade Azim

I made the same mistake. I would dismiss warning signs leading up to 2015. Because it made me feel safe and good. I would see bad by-elections and hear worrying reports, but I shrugged it off out of suggestion it was mere doom-mongering. Until the exit poll. Today, I see it happening again.

The Left trying to claim the loss of more than 20 councillors -regardless of exceeded expectations- does it no favours. The Left trying to suggest that the first Opposition to go backwards since the abyss of the 80s is a victory and suggestion Jeremy will bloody be PM is delusional at best and catastrophic at worst. Not just for the Party, but for its own wing. If we continue to define ourselves and the Left by awfully bad standards, saying we beat hilariously shit expectations, then expect nothing other than ridicule.

Jeremy faces a bullish PLP and critics with no…

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